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Making use of parenting counselling

Jugendamt · free of charge, confidential, no application needed

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Parenting counselling (Erziehungsberatung) under § 28 SGB VIII is the lowest-threshold help under this whole entity: free of charge, with no application, no approval procedure and no file opened at the Jugendamt. Counselling centres are run by local authorities, churches and independent institutions; you can approach them directly.

Nor is it a stepping stone to something more severe. Many parents hesitate because they fear that a counselling session will bring the Jugendamt into the house. The opposite is the normal case: the counselling exists so that things do not get that far, and it is the only route under this entity that involves no procedure at all.

What is often written about the duty of confidentiality is too absolute — this page too used to say that "nothing is reported to the Jugendamt". What is correct is: there is no automatic report, no routine transmission, no file. But there is an exception, and you should know it rather than discover it later.

It is set out in § 4 KKG, which expressly covers parenting and youth counsellors, and it is staged: first, the situation is to be discussed "with the child or young person and the persons with parental responsibility" and the aim is to work towards help being taken up. Only once that is not possible or has been unsuccessful are the counsellors "authorised" to inform the Jugendamt. An authorisation, not an automatic step — and the first steps take place with you.

Last updated27 August 2026
Legal basis§ 28 SGB VIII · § 4 KKG
VerificationChecked against gesetze-im-internet.de (consolidated version)
Written and reviewed byAndrés Sánchez Botta
Independent information site: we are not the Jugendamt, not an authority and not a paid advice service — we do not submit applications on your behalf. All information comes from official sources and is explained here in plain terms; the competent body is always authoritative. This is not legal advice. If a child is at acute risk, call 110. All information provided without guarantee. We are neither lawyers nor tax consultants: we document administrative procedures and check the information against the official source — this is information, not legal or tax advice.
CostsFree of chargeNo application needed either
AccessStraight to the counselling centreNo Jugendamt needed
Legal entitlement§ 28 SGB VIIIAlso for children themselves
File at the authorityNoneException: § 4 KKG
Required documents

What you need

None — and that is the point

For parenting counselling you need no documents, no application and no approval. It is deliberately a low-threshold offer. Everything else is decided during the conversation.

Helpful: a brief account

Note down beforehand what it is about, since when, what you have already tried and what should change. Not for the counselling centre, but for yourself: many people find it hard to put the core issue into words in the first session, and a note helps with that.

If available: reports from school or a doctor's practice

School reports, feedback from school, medical or therapeutic findings. They are not required, but they can save time. You decide what to show.

Who should come along

Alone, as a couple, as a family or with the child — that is your decision and can change as things go on. Children and young people can also approach a counselling centre on their own, without their parents arranging it.

Step by step

How to proceed

  1. 1

    Finding a counselling centre — it does not have to be the Jugendamt

    Parenting counselling centres are run by local authorities, churches, welfare associations and other independent institutions. Search for "Erziehungsberatungsstelle" together with your town; the local family or youth welfare website usually lists them. There is no need to go via the Jugendamt.

  2. 2

    Making an appointment or using an open consultation hour

    Many centres offer open consultation hours without booking — that is the quickest way in. When arranging an appointment, ask straight away about the waiting time and whether short-notice appointments are available for urgent matters.

  3. 3

    Understanding the first session as a clarifying conversation

    The point at first is to work out together what it is actually about — which is often not what you came in with. You commit to nothing and can stop at any time.

  4. 4

    Asking about the duty of confidentiality, right at the start

    Ask in the first session how the centre handles confidentiality and in which cases it involves the Jugendamt. A good counselling centre explains this of its own accord. That way you know from the start, rather than finding out at the worst moment.

  5. 5

    Using online and telephone services if the usual route is too hard

    There are nationwide online counselling services for parents and for young people, some anonymous and by chat. They do not replace ongoing support, but they are a good first step if a face-to-face appointment is too far away or too difficult.

  6. 6

    In an acute emergency, call the emergency number, not the counselling line

    In the case of acute danger to a child, the emergency number 110 always applies, and 112 for medical emergencies. Both are staffed round the clock. Outside office hours, the local council's children and youth emergency service or the Jugendamt's on-call service is additionally responsible — it is organised locally, and the number is on your city's or district's website.

  7. 7

    Checking whether further-reaching help fits

    If the counselling is not enough, the route leads to upbringing assistance. The counselling centre can support you with this and, with your consent, make contact with the Jugendamt — at your request, not over your head.

Fee information

Costs and payment

Availability — with real opening timesBecause it is precisely in the evening and at weekends that this falls down
Police, acute danger110 — round the clock
Ambulance service112 — round the clock
Children and youth helpline116 111 — Mon–Sat 14–20:00
Parents' helpline0800 111 0550 — Mon/Wed/Fri 9–17, Tue/Thu 9–19
Helpline for sexual abuse0800 22 55 530 — Mon/Wed/Fri 9–14, Tue/Thu 15–20
Violence Against Women Helpline116 016 — round the clock

The counselling itself is free of charge — for everyone, regardless of income — and it does not appear in the list of services subject to cost contributions under § 91 SGB VIII. This overview deliberately gives opening times, because it is precisely in the evening and at weekends that this falls down. The children and youth helpline 116 111 is free of charge and anonymous, but staffed only Monday to Saturday from 14 to 20:00 — on Saturdays by young people themselves. The parents' helpline 0800 111 0550 offers advice on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays from 9 to 17 and on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9 to 19:00. The helpline for sexual abuse 0800 22 55 530 can be reached on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays from 9 to 14 and on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 15 to 20:00, and not at all on public holidays or on 24 and 31 December; it also offers online counselling. The only services reachable truly round the clock are the emergency number 110, 112 and the violence-against-women helpline on 116 016. If it is urgent at night and a child is at risk, the right number is therefore 110 or the children and youth emergency service of your local council — not a counselling line that is not staffed at that time.

Good to know

Important notes

No application, no approval, no file at the Jugendamt. You approach the counselling centre directly. This is the lowest-threshold access point under this entity.

Children and young people can also come on their own. Without parents, without being registered by someone else.

Confidentiality is the rule, but it is not absolute. § 4 KKG allows the Jugendamt to be informed where a child's welfare is at risk — as a last step, not a first one.

The procedure under § 4 KKG is staged. First, the situation is discussed with you and the child, and the aim is to work towards help being taken up. Only once that is not possible or has been unsuccessful is there an authorisation to inform.

It is an authorisation, not an automatic step. The wording of the law says "they are authorised", not "they must".

Early counselling makes the difference. Many families come once the situation has already become entrenched. One conversation at the start is more effective than ten at the end.

Ask about the duty of confidentiality at the first session. Then you know where you stand and do not have to guess.

The 116 111 line is not staffed round the clock. Monday to Saturday from 14 to 20:00. In an acute emergency, call 110.

Avoid these mistakes

Common mistakes

Not going at all out of fear of the Jugendamt. The counselling is the only route here that involves no procedure and no file — and it exists precisely so that things do not escalate.

Waiting until the situation is entrenched. The most common and the most costly mistake, because much more can be done early on.

Treating confidentiality as absolute. It is the rule; § 4 KKG provides for a staged exception. Anyone who finds this out late loses trust altogether.

Believing you have to go to the Jugendamt first. You can approach a counselling centre directly, including a church-run or independent one.

Calling the 116 111 line in the evening and reaching no one. It is staffed until 20:00. In an emergency, call 110 or the children and youth emergency service.

Giving up after one session. The first appointment usually only serves to clarify the issue. What helps becomes clear in the following ones.

Frequently asked questions

Questions and answers

Does the Jugendamt find out that I was in counselling?

As a rule, no. There is no automatic report, no routine transmission and no file opened at the Jugendamt — counselling under § 28 SGB VIII requires no application and no approval procedure. There is, however, an exception, and you should know it: § 4 KKG expressly covers parenting and youth counsellors and governs what applies where there are significant indications of a risk to a child's welfare. The procedure is staged: first, the situation is to be discussed "with the child or young person and the persons with parental responsibility" and the aim is to work towards help being taken up. Only once "averting the risk … is not possible or an approach … has been unsuccessful" are the counsellors "authorised" to inform the Jugendamt. So: no automatic step, and the first steps take place with you.

What does parenting counselling cost?

Nothing. It is free of charge for everyone seeking advice, regardless of income, and it does not belong to the services for which cost contributions are charged under § 91 SGB VIII — that list covers only part-residential and residential assistance. Family-therapy work carried out within the counselling centre is likewise free of charge for you. You need neither a referral nor an approval, and no co-payment arises.

Do I need to submit an application?

No, and that is what distinguishes parenting counselling from all the other help under this entity. You approach a counselling centre directly — run by a local authority, a church or another independent institution — arrange an appointment or go to an open consultation hour. There is no approval procedure, no assessment of your circumstances and no notice. This is deliberately designed to keep the threshold low: anyone who first had to make an application would in many cases not come at all.

Can children and young people get in touch on their own?

Yes. Children and young people can approach a counselling centre without their parents, and many centres have their own services and opening hours for this. There is also the children and youth helpline on 116 111, free of charge and anonymous — though only Monday to Saturday from 14 to 20:00, staffed on Saturdays by young people themselves. Important: in the case of acute danger, none of these numbers is the right route — call 110 or the local council's children and youth emergency service, which is also reachable at night.

What can the counselling be about?

About far more than the name suggests: family conflicts, school problems and school avoidance, anxiety, withdrawal, aggression, media use, sibling conflicts, puberty — and equally separation and divorce, contact arrangements and how to talk to children about them. Topics that parents tend to see as about themselves also belong here: being overwhelmed, exhaustion, disagreement over upbringing. There is no list of approved topics, and you do not have to decide in advance whether your issue is "serious enough".

How long do I have to wait for an appointment?

This cannot be stated in general terms — waiting times depend heavily on the region and how busy the particular centre is, and range from a few days to several months. Ask specifically about this when you register, and ask at the same time about open consultation hours and about short-notice appointments for urgent matters; many centres offer both and do not always mention them unprompted. Also register with several centres: waiting times often differ considerably between institutions in the same place.

What if the counselling is not enough?

Then the route leads to upbringing assistance under §§ 27 ff. SGB VIII — for example, socio-educational family support, which comes to your home. This does then require a procedure at the Jugendamt, with an assistance-plan meeting. The counselling centre can accompany you through this and, with your consent, make contact. Important for the question of cost: non-residential assistance such as family support remains free of charge for the family; cost contributions under § 91 SGB VIII only arise for part-residential and residential assistance.

Can I be counselled anonymously?

In face-to-face counselling, a name is usually taken, if only to keep a case file at the counselling centre — which is something different from a file at the Jugendamt and is subject to the duty of confidentiality. Anonymous access is available by phone and online: the children and youth helpline 116 111 and the parents' helpline 0800 111 0550 operate anonymously, as do the nationwide online counselling services by chat or email. If anonymity matters to you, say so at the first contact — many centres can also offer a first conversation without taking full details.

Related official procedures

Upbringing assistance
When counselling is not enough
Free of charge on a non-residential basis
Child protection
If a child is at risk
Free of charge
Kita place
Legal entitlement and contributions
Based on income

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