Adoption — advice and placement

No, it is prohibited by law. § 2b AdVermiG states: "An international adoption procedure is prohibited if it is to be carried out without placement by an adoption placement agency (§ 2a Abs. 4)." This was introduced by the Act on Adoption Assistance with effect from 1 April 2021. The reason is substantive: in an unaccompanied adoption, it cannot be ensured that the child actually needs to be adopted, nor that the birth parents understood the consequences and gave valid consent — nor that the applicants are prepared. There is also a practical consequence: unaccompanied overseas adoptions are generally not recognised in Germany.

Within Germany, placement through the adoption placement agency is free of charge for you. Only incidental costs arise: the extended certificate of good conduct for €13.00, any costs for certificates and documents, and the court costs for the adoption order. For overseas adoption, we deliberately give no range here. For one thing, the route without a placement agency is prohibited, so stating a price would make a prohibited route look like an option. For another, the cost of an accompanied procedure depends on the placement agency and the country of origin. Ask the placement agency for a written breakdown before you commit.

§ 1743 BGB requires the adopting person to have reached the age of 25. For a joint adoption by spouses, a relaxed rule applies that is often overlooked: there, "one spouse must have reached the age of 25, the other spouse the age of 21". The law names no maximum age — in practice, however, the age gap to the child plays a role in the suitability assessment, because the point is whether the long-term care of the child is assured. How this is assessed in an individual case is for the placement agency to decide.

This cannot responsibly be put into a figure, and we therefore do not do so here. The duration depends on the placement agency, the number of applications, the course of the suitability assessment and, above all, on whether and when a child can be proposed — the latter is determined by the child, not by your application. For the pre-adoption care period before the order, the law likewise sets no deadline: § 1744 BGB merely says the adoption should "as a rule only be pronounced once the adopting person has had the child in their care for an appropriate period". What is appropriate depends on the child and the course taken.

Single people can adopt; marriage is not a requirement, and the minimum age is then 25 years. For couples: joint adoption is designed for spouses — there, the relaxed age rule of 25 and 21 applies. Unmarried couples cannot adopt jointly in the same form; what may then be considered is adoption by one partner and, later, possibly a stepchild adoption by the other. Because the circumstances here vary considerably, this is exactly the kind of question that belongs in the initial advice session — the placement agency clarifies which route is open in your situation.

Interviews, home visits and, as a rule, seminars or preparatory courses. It is less about income and living space than about the capacity for relationships, resilience and how you deal with the child's background: how you will talk about it later, how you handle questions about the birth parents, what you expect of a child. The personal account forms the basis for this. Chronic illnesses or a difficult personal history do not rule you out — what matters is whether the child's care appears to be assured in the long term and whether you have come to terms with your own history.

Yes, and it is expressly provided for. Placement is about finding the right family for a particular child — not about working through a waiting list. If, after getting to know each other, you conclude that you cannot meet this child's needs, it is better to say so than to try anyway. A refusal is not held against you and does not end your application. Speak openly with the placement agency about any doubts during the settling-in period — that is exactly what it is there for.

The adoption of the child of a spouse or civil partner, so that it also becomes the legal child of the partner. It is the most common form of adoption in Germany and works differently from a placement: there is no application and placement procedure, but there is an assessment of whether the adoption serves the best interests of the child. A legally significant consequence is that the relationship with the other birth parent generally ceases — including maintenance and inheritance rights. Since the Act on Adoption Assistance, advice is also required before the application is made. Have the consequences explained to you in detail beforehand; they are more far-reaching than many expect.