Becoming a foster family

The recommendations of the Deutscher Verein for 2026 give material costs of €764 for children up to 6, €923 from 6 to 12 and €1,072 from 12 to 18, plus an unchanging upbringing allowance of €439 in each case – together around €1,203, €1,362 and €1,511 a month. It is important to know what these figures are: recommendations, not a law. § 39 Abs. 5 SGB VIII provides that the lump-sum amounts are set by the authorities responsible under state law. Most federal states adopt the recommendations, some depart from them – so ask about the rate that applies to you and have it given to you in writing.

This range is outdated and now lies entirely below the recommended rates: even the lowest total amount for the youngest age bracket exceeds the former upper limit, at around €1,203. It comes from older overviews that either quoted only the material costs without the upbringing allowance, or are several years old. Do not calculate with it. The Pflegegeld consists of two parts – material costs and upbringing allowance – and anyone who looks only at the first underestimates the amount by several hundred euros a month.

As a rule, yes, but with a condition that is often left out. Under § 3 Nr. 11 EStG, Pflegegeld from public funds is tax-free, provided the foster care is not carried out commercially. For this, the tax authorities work with a simplification: where up to six children are cared for in the household at the same time, it is assumed without further examination that there is no economic activity – the Pflegegeld then remains tax-free. If more than six children are taken in, an economic activity is presumed, and the tax exemption no longer applies. For almost all foster families, this changes nothing; anyone considering a larger number should seek tax advice beforehand.

The most fundamental one of all: with adoption you become the legal parents, and the relationship to the birth family generally ends. With foster care, legal parenthood remains with the birth parents; the child lives with you, but you do not take the parents’ place. Two things follow from this that many people underestimate: contact visits with the birth family are part of it and are professionally accompanied, and depending on the case, a return of the child is the explicit goal. Anyone who wants a child “forever” should raise this early and honestly – that is what the preparation is for, and there are also foster arrangements intended to be permanent.

This cannot be said in general, and we therefore give no figure here. The duration depends on the institution, the number of applications, the scope of the preparation seminar and how the interviews go. The seminar hours are also not fixed nationwide. Ask the Pflegekinderdienst about the specific process and the current processing time. Expect it not to be a quick procedure – and that is intentional: the preparation is the part that later determines whether a foster arrangement lasts.

Yes. Marriage is not a requirement, and unmarried as well as same-sex couples can also become foster parents. What is assessed is not marital status but suitability: time, resilience, the stability of your life situation, willingness to cooperate with the Jugendamt and with the birth family, and a supportive environment. For single people, the question of relief is particularly important – who steps in if you become ill or need a break? This question comes up in the suitability assessment, and it helps to have an answer ready beforehand.

§ 37 SGB VIII gives foster carers an entitlement to advice and support, and cooperation with the birth parents is expressly part of this. In practice, this means: a fixed contact person at the Pflegekinderdienst, care plan meetings at regular intervals, further training and often supervision and foster parent groups. Make use of this from the start and not only in a crisis – foster arrangements break down, experience shows, often because support was sought too late. Also ask about the rules on grants, accident insurance and old-age provision.

The short-term admission of a child in an emergency – typically in the context of a taking into care (Inobhutnahme), when a child immediately needs a safe place before a decision has been made about their future. Stand-by foster families must be ready to take in a child at any time, often without notice and without knowing much about the child, and they support the child through a period of great uncertainty. Requirements and payment differ considerably from long-term foster care and are also set regionally. It is a particularly demanding form, because the parting is certain from the start – and a particularly needed one. Ask the Pflegekinderdienst specifically about it if this interests you.